What Makes Me Tick?

To be honest I'm not sure what makes me tick. I've never really thought about it. But it's my prompt for this weeks blog and I intend to answer it to the best of my abilities. I guess I'll start by picking 5 things that describe me or things I enjoy doing.

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1. Honesty
2. Surrounding Myself with Challenges
3. Making the Most of Any Experiences
4. Fear of Failing My Expectations 
5. (this one sounds a little weird) Watching Other People
6. Being Myself 

I know theses sound self-centered but the fact of the matter is, they're what makes me tick so they should be self-centered.

First, honesty. I think honesty is one of the most important parts of any family, friendship, relationship, or partnership. I know that's a cliche saying but it's true. Honesty has a more profound meaning to me though. Because when you lie, you're trying to distract yourself. You may say it to another person but it stems from you not wanting to admit you're trying to hide a flaw, problem or mistake. I hate lying. Flat out despise it. But I still lie, even when I know the truth behind why I'm lying.

Second, surrounding myself with challenges.  I want to grow and be the best I can be. An easy and effective way to do that is by surrounding myself with people, or events that cause me to grow. It's the underlying reason why I do cross country, track, take a few AP classes, volunteer for club events and even play video games. Yes, I get enjoyment from theses activities but some of that comes from the challenges and the competition. 

Third, making the most of any experience. Lifes full of ups, downs, lefts, and rights. I want to gain knowledge from every turn and then figure out how I'm going to use it. No, I don't plan on using it for grand things; I plan to use it to make my life and the life's of people close to me easier. For every good or bad experience, there is something to take away. I always try and take it and more if I can.

Fourth, the fear of failing my expectations. I don't like to lose and I don't like to fail. When I don't meet my own expectations it frustrates me so severely that I can't get past it. But, I have to say that my expectations vary depending on the project and my attitude toward it. Along with this I find time precious and avoid wasting it.

Fifth, watching other people. I know this comes off as weird and perverted but hear me out. I want to understand others, why they do this over that, stuff like that. So I watch peoples behaviors and try and draw out connections and disparities. For example, watching someone struggle to fit in and resist peer pressure and watching their friend struggle to decide if they should step in and help them or not. I'm an observer. I like to take things in gradually. It's part of the reason I find this class so irritating. 

Extra Sixth, being myself. I've said it and I'm saying it again, I want to be the best me I can. So, being myself is obviously important. This also relates to my hate of lying because not being yourself is lying. I dislike fakes. I understand putting up walls but you should always be true to yourself and stand up for the things you like even if it makes you seem like a fool to some. If you're one of those people that disagree with me and think that you should have a different mask for each person or social group I understand your point of view and can't say I disagree since I do the same but, I must say it gets tiring keeping up with all the different mask.  Because I don't get enough sleep anyway I'm working toward being myself even when it might put me out of the group. Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if you want to see a post on something specific, something not on the teacher's list.